talks in the middle of the rain, longing, and contemplation

thus, we in our twenties, will fly thee souls.

I have told you that life been funny, lately.


that somehow I found myself alone sitting at the bar club

or dance in the middle of dancefloor of a club. alone or with accompany

or I pour myself some shots of tequila

or sipping my 3rd cups of coffee this night.

gaping with current relatives

or making new engagement with old friend

talk about latest gossip

or both express selves longing in such manner of current things evolving around selves


life been funny lately

and some thee souls in their twenties, sitting munching sweet dessert treats during light rain

crapping about longing of things evolving around them

how’s they life turn out

and how it was started

the expectations, hurts, and ‘dude I never expect this one’

changing faces on their selves life

til they reach this particular point

and daze


for oneself, she feels she’s been suck up into such worm hole and skip times speaces to be in present moment

for him, it’s just scary how times and spaces goes along the way


and how in the instant moment, things around them evolve

their own selves thought of own selves concern


for her, a closure

for him, a waiting


and thought of their shared concern

about one soul they care about

about one soul whom life been rolled up away

and how things evolve around them.


they are tired but restless soul

and thus need solitude for resolve


she thinks she need a tranquility thru times of contemplation

he thinks he need to making himself stable and firm, that he thought he isn’t


ah dear.


life been funny lately

and they munching their sweet treats, savoring it.



Was taken between 12 til 3 a.m. at Southbank

Oh dear life.

You’ve been funny lately

You are never been firm

And I was shaking by

And by the way. 


I am so down to your chaotic tunnel

How funny

And yet I haven’t found my closure

I am disclosure.

And in my exploring path of mine how to find my closure, a zen

And… The fuck I found myself sitting at the bar club.


I arrived way too early. 

It’s half to midnight

And I think the party people still getting ready on their crib

Making them eyeliner sharp enough to kill

And shit I think I have to wait a really long time to dance away my shit

And I already sip some to forget

Yea I’m a dead gaada gaya one. Damn shit.

What these weeks brought me to.

The things evolving around me is driving nut

I started to lose my sanity

Thus here I am

Bluntly daring myself to jump into thump of EDM music, flashing lights, and fog of smokes. Alone.

I mean. What the. 

Bumping myself to strangers.

Getting lost in beat.

Staying sobber.

Within the light and beating beat

I not yet found my closure.

Tho I enjoy jumping around

And flashing lights please me

But as I taking some moments to breath

Wave of unsure hit me up again.

And I know I still in disclosure.

So I say good bye to those strangers.

And lights.

Order Uber and hit back home.

I thank God my Uber is doing his job well.

And not taking any beneficial from a late girl almost snoozing off at the back.

So, dear night beaty life

You are fun. 

But you are not my closure.


There are some things I would like to keep

And let no world to come and spoil

To dwell and sway

In spaces and times remains


And me as God


My dear,

My dearest

Cookies on every fortune

And still, a gentle of happy place


How much the grateful saying been out

That our encounters is kept within spaces and times

And me as God

I will never let the world spoil it



Oh my dear

My long curly hair tan skin and depth of abyss eyes dear

I am in longin and you’ll probably sick with this longing

And I’m committed to my longing towards you


As I recall

Between booze, smokes, and people

We danced away and sway

I dwell within

And will never let the world spoil.


I’m an egoistic bitch and arrogant when it comes to you.



I love the Y in my name

It is all started with the ‘y’.



As ‘y’ is the shortened version of ‘why’

And lately, this kind of question been surround me for days.

Why you’ve been mourning all day long?

Why the hell this hellish foolish judgmental bitch cannot restrained themselves from speaking such idiotic phrases?

Why they cannot read my bold face saying ‘I don’t care’?

Why the road been stay like this for 4 hours long?

Why do I  buy these stuff?

Why my last week order haven’t arrived yet?

Whyyyy my pinky hurt out of nowhere? Just whyyyyyy?

Why, as my personal preference is the ultimate question of all.

And we earthlings been burden up to figure out the answer

Aren’t you all wonder why, in the morning you wake up after a night full of smokes and smells of liquors, you just can;t shake things off?

Or you’ve been wonder while you jump to house music, somehow your heart fill with these grey-ish color?



As the darkness fall and the night been so quite,

It is not solitude that you found within spaces and times

But flashes of past, memories, and rising heartbeat for the unknown future?

Call me a girl with so much question. Or define it as insecure

Heck I care

Or maybe I am

But I don’t bug

What bugging me is, why.

That the shortened version imply as the first alphabet of my name.