thus, we in our twenties, will fly thee souls.
I have told you that life been funny, lately.
that somehow I found myself alone sitting at the bar club
or dance in the middle of dancefloor of a club. alone or with accompany
or I pour myself some shots of tequila
or sipping my 3rd cups of coffee this night.
gaping with current relatives
or making new engagement with old friend
talk about latest gossip
or both express selves longing in such manner of current things evolving around selves
life been funny lately
and some thee souls in their twenties, sitting munching sweet dessert treats during light rain
crapping about longing of things evolving around them
how’s they life turn out
and how it was started
the expectations, hurts, and ‘dude I never expect this one’
changing faces on their selves life
til they reach this particular point
for oneself, she feels she’s been suck up into such worm hole and skip times speaces to be in present moment
for him, it’s just scary how times and spaces goes along the way
and how in the instant moment, things around them evolve
their own selves thought of own selves concern
for her, a closure
for him, a waiting
and thought of their shared concern
about one soul they care about
about one soul whom life been rolled up away
and how things evolve around them.
they are tired but restless soul
and thus need solitude for resolve
she thinks she need a tranquility thru times of contemplation
he thinks he need to making himself stable and firm, that he thought he isn’t
life been funny lately
and they munching their sweet treats, savoring it.
on Friday, Saturday, Friday, and Saturday.
smokes and thumping EDM and flashing light
why you ask?
that’s how I shake off things
and as how I drain my energy sparks
Hours went by
And I’m still sitting here
Sipping up my 3rd cup od coffee
And left empty bottle of wine at the corner
But I’m still here
Barely come to closure
But willingly to gain one
You grow even fonder
And your light is the brightest I ever seen.
Oh dear life.
You’ve been funny lately
You are never been firm
And I was shaking by
And by the way.
I am so down to your chaotic tunnel
And yet I haven’t found my closure
I am disclosure.
And in my exploring path of mine how to find my closure, a zen
And… The fuck I found myself sitting at the bar club.
I arrived way too early.
It’s half to midnight
And I think the party people still getting ready on their crib
Making them eyeliner sharp enough to kill
And shit I think I have to wait a really long time to dance away my shit
And I already sip some to forget
Yea I’m a dead gaada gaya one. Damn shit.
What these weeks brought me to.
The things evolving around me is driving nut
I started to lose my sanity
Thus here I am
Bluntly daring myself to jump into thump of EDM music, flashing lights, and fog of smokes. Alone.
I mean. What the.
Bumping myself to strangers.
Getting lost in beat.
Within the light and beating beat
I not yet found my closure.
Tho I enjoy jumping around
And flashing lights please me
But as I taking some moments to breath
Wave of unsure hit me up again.
And I know I still in disclosure.
So I say good bye to those strangers.
Order Uber and hit back home.
I thank God my Uber is doing his job well.
And not taking any beneficial from a late girl almost snoozing off at the back.
So, dear night beaty life
You are fun.
But you are not my closure.
A disclosure shit kinda stage, she is.
She always come home late, driving between flashes of lights and kisses of rain. And a disclosure.
AND DON’T BOTHER, she’s firmly stand to taking a narrow pathway in which no people may walk beside, nor let anyone walk in front or back.
And damn she’s fallin with her Spotify Weekly. Damn she wants to marry it.
I need a drink.
I thank tequila and Bailey’s for being around.
There are some things I would like to keep
And let no world to come and spoil
To dwell and sway
In spaces and times remains
And me as God
Cookies on every fortune
And still, a gentle of happy place
How much the grateful saying been out
That our encounters is kept within spaces and times
And me as God
I will never let the world spoil it
Oh my dear
My long curly hair tan skin and depth of abyss eyes dear
I am in longin and you’ll probably sick with this longing
And I’m committed to my longing towards you
As I recall
Between booze, smokes, and people
We danced away and sway
I dwell within
And will never let the world spoil.
I’m an egoistic bitch and arrogant when it comes to you.
It is all started with the ‘y’.
As ‘y’ is the shortened version of ‘why’
And lately, this kind of question been surround me for days.
Why you’ve been mourning all day long?
Why the hell this hellish foolish judgmental bitch cannot restrained themselves from speaking such idiotic phrases?
Why they cannot read my bold face saying ‘I don’t care’?
Why the road been stay like this for 4 hours long?
Why do I buy these stuff?
Why my last week order haven’t arrived yet?
Whyyyy my pinky hurt out of nowhere? Just whyyyyyy?
Why, as my personal preference is the ultimate question of all.
And we earthlings been burden up to figure out the answer
Aren’t you all wonder why, in the morning you wake up after a night full of smokes and smells of liquors, you just can;t shake things off?
Or you’ve been wonder while you jump to house music, somehow your heart fill with these grey-ish color?
As the darkness fall and the night been so quite,
It is not solitude that you found within spaces and times
But flashes of past, memories, and rising heartbeat for the unknown future?
Call me a girl with so much question. Or define it as insecure
Heck I care
Or maybe I am
But I don’t bug
What bugging me is, why.
That the shortened version imply as the first alphabet of my name.