Aku, Tuhan, dan tuhan.

Jika,

Aku ber-Tuhan

Agar tanya pada malam ku tersampaikan

entah bagaimana caranya dan kepada siapa

Ohiya, ke Tuhan.

 

Jika,

Aku ber-Tuhan

Agar keinginanku bisa diberitahu

entah jaminan pasti terkabulnya

 

Jika,

Aku ber-Tuhan

Agar cemas ku ditenangkan

Secara ajaib kepada udara dan absen fisik

 

Jika,

Aku ber-Tuhan

Hanya ketika aku cemas, berharap, dan bertanya

Ketika haus daging ku muncul dalam kesesakan fana

Tidak saat aku biasa

Tanpa rasa

Tak ada asa

 

Aku memilih tidak ber-Tuhan

atau tuhan, konteks yang lebih tepat lekatnya

Biarlah sang Tuhan ada

Dan tak perlu kuusik keberadaannya

Biarkan Dia ada

dan tuhan ku yang ada ini tiada

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Longing over Wine and Night

Dear a man with mustache.

Whom I saw and adore months ago

and months after.

 

Isn’t it cute that after times I’m still in deep profound with you?

That in such messy first meeting

And longing after

And just yesterday,

You showed up and everything just become bright?

 

Ugh.

 

Dear gorgeous tan man.

Despite with your tall sun-kissed skin

Long curly hair

The depth of abyss in your eyes

And smile that as sharp as blade it might kill somebody

Ups, pardon, this.

Your soul, darling

I submerged, profound

This kind loving hearted soul

Whom listen to my quest

Answer to such riddle

A sweet solitude in midst of up beat song.

 

Oh

How much I enjoy fangirling you

My dear ‘oh, you poor thing in existential issue’

Who didn’t let a friend to lit my smoke

But provide his to mine.

 

OH MY SWEET TAN LONGING MAN

 

Thank you

For you presence between wine, smokes, and night.

As much as I adore you, as big my hope to know you as deep and profound as abyss

Or you are, indeed, answer of my existential issue quest?

 

OMG THE SMIRK I MADE WHEN I WRITE THIS THO I CANNOT CALM

Bulan Mei dan Rintik Hujan

Setahuku, musim penghujan sepatutnya berakhir bulan April lalu

Atau, buku IPA yang kubaca saat SD lalu yang salah?

Ah, tidak. Baru saja ku cari Google dan katanya pun, dari Oktober sampai April

 

Lalu, apa yang air lakukan di bulan Mei?

Apa yang rintik hujan basahi di bulan Mei?

Kenapa awan kelabu masih menggantung di bulan Mei?

 

Egois kah kamu wahai penghujan,

melewati batas ada mu?

 

Atau malas kah kamu penghujan,

memindahkan massa mu ke bagian lain dunia?

 

Atau sayang kah kamu penghujan,

kepada tanah yang kau basahi,

daun yang kau sirami,

atap yang kau cucuri,

dan wajah-wajah basah manusia penyewa payung?

 

Wahai rintik-rintik hujan di bulan Mei

Tolong ceritakan kisahmu

Mengapa di bulan Mei kamu masih menggantung pasti di langit

Menebar air

Mengapa di bulan Mei awan kelabu mu masih awas diatas

Menudungkan tanah

Mengapa di bulan Mei rintik mu masih ada

Meneteskan air dan mengaburkan pandang

Menyebabkan kabut

Mengenangi kubangan

Membuatku tetap di balkon.

 

Antara

Halo, sayang.

Antara jarak dan waktu
Terbiasa ada hampa

Ada gantungan kata
Dan perbedaan masa

Ada titik-titik
Ada gelitik

Absen.
Ada banyak absen

Antara jarak dan waktu
Renggang makin panjang
Ada senggang yang terpampang

Antara jarak dan waktu
Antara kamu dan aku
Ah, syukurlah
Tidak ada senggang

Tak enggan aku berkata
Tak ragu kamu bicara

Di malam atau siang
Di jalan atau di rumah
Kita tetap bertemu

Berbagi rasa dan kata
Disaat tak disangka

Berapa bulan sekali mungkin bisa jumpa
Tapi, tak apa.

Tak ada yang berubah.

Halo sayang.
Yang di antara, tidak ada antara.

Selamat Malam, Selamat Tidur

Selamat malam, selamat tidur

Langit merubah warnanya menjadi gelap
Matahari diganti el-i-di
Atau cahaya kendaraan pribadi

Selamat malam
Mudik semua ke pinggir
Berpulang, bertaluk
Ke pengistirahatan

Selamat malam
Yang makin larut makin sepi
Makin sendiri

Selamat malam
Hai pikiran dan ide
Dan penantian
Dan pertanyaan
Sudah lah cukup untuk hari ini
Mari, rehat

Sampai jumpa lagi
Besok kau akan datang lagi, bukan?

Mari, ditunda sejenak
Selamat tidur.

Once, a man and a woman was sitting side by side.

“I love you.” said the man.

And she smiled.

“Tell me, what you love about me.” asked the woman.

The man was confused, and silence hang in between.

“Then, tell me. What’s on me that make you fall in love.” asked the woman, again.

 

The man smiled, and started to open his lip apart.

“So, my dear, your hair fascinated me. How silk and glowy at every tilt of your head,

The long black gentle hair in every whiff I do overwhelmed me.

The sun reflects the shine everytime it hits.

And, your gentle touch of your soft skin hand.

It…”

 

And the woman put her finger at the man.

“I have to hush you here, my dear, my apologise.

A pleasant explanation of your love, dear.”

She grabbed a scissor near her, and cut a handful of her hair, then put it in the man open hand, and gently close it.

” I see that you love my hair so much, and this is my hair, darling for you to love whole fully.

And I can’t give you my soft skin hand, so I’m sorry I have to hush you there.

So thank you, and see you around.”

 

The woman kissed the man forehand, stood and smiled, and left.

 

 

The man never been this bewilder in his whole life.

 

An Alice I am

I grow

And I hit the ceiling

My hair stuck between the roof,

and I bend my neck so hard

or, I am not growing?

That this house got shrink?

That everything  decrease,

everything getting smaller.

either way,

I am not fit in.

The floor is too small,

I barely move my toes.

My head hit the roof,

that I have to bow so deep that my chin meet my neck.

My fingers hit the wall.

I barely move it.

Also,

I confuse.

As in this stertorous space

I am so qualm.

I am not fit in here.

But I don’t know what to do.

Should I bump my head and crash the roof?

Should I fist the wall and then break free?

Should I stand up and let the rest shaking off the rest of the house?

I am not sure.

But I know.

I don’t fit in here.

Whatever happen after I break free,

I know this house just no good.